It doesn’t matter how hot your sex is — it’s unavoidable to experience an annoyance or two along the way. From how messy things can be after intercourse to your lover saying something stupid while doing the deed, eye-rolls are inevitable. The faster you make peace with this truth, the quicker you’ll get to enjoy action between the sheets to its fullest.
However, if you’re questioning yourself about having pet peeves and whether that’s normal — don’t worry. Annoyances are typical in sexual relationships, and everyone has them. So, let’s explore all there is to know about sexual pet peeves and see why they’re fundamental. Moreover, we’ll try to give you a tip or two to manage them with your partner.
What Is a Pet Peeve?
Before we explore how they affect our sex and relationships in general, let’s first discuss what pet peeves are. In essence, a pet peeve is something you do or say that causes annoyance in others. Peeves aren’t inherently rude or inappropriate. Yet, they bother people for some reason and can be pretty tiring and frustrating, making our eyes roll.
What Are the Kinds of Pet Peeves?
These annoyances that make us shudder in disgust can be sexual and nonsexual. Moreover, they can be slight and immature to something more serious. Perfect examples of pet peeves are loud chewing/drinking, talking over someone, interrupting, being late, and so on. Either way, they can be of all kinds, so let’s check some of them out.
Loud chewing/drinking is probably the most common pet peeve there is. Every other person has it, and it would be strange if you didn’t come across it. Essentially, some folks eat their food like animals, chewing loudly and making others go batshit crazy. Moreover, they even slurp when drinking, trying to get the last drop.
On the other hand, everyone has that one friend who’s always late. It starts with just a couple of minutes, and by the time you know each other for a year or two, they begin being late for hours. And if you don’t have a friend like that, maybe it’s you who’s late.
People’s Sexual Pet Peeves
When it comes to sex pet peeves, both men and women have them. Some might be the same for both, but others are gender-exclusive. Either way, both genders bitch about them to their friends over coffee or lunch. So, let’s check some of these out, shall we? You might recognize you or your partner in some of them.
Female Sex Pet Peeves
One of the most common sex annoyances women have is too much talking during sex. Even if there need to be at least some words, dirty talk can become boring all too soon. Another common sex peeve is that rhetorical “You like that?” It’s the worst. Lastly, there’s always the guy-leaving-socks-on during sex peeve. It’s all so dorky.
Male Sex Pet Peeves
An all too common sex peeve for men is when women act as they gave them sex. It’s like it’s all part of the deal to do the dishes. Another one is when their lovers act like their corpses, lying down motionless and waiting for the action. That’s really no fun, is it? And finally, one of the most awful ones — scrapping teeth during oral sex.
How Do Sexual Pet Peeves Affect Sex and Relationships?
For some, biting their nails or chewing with their mouth open isn’t a big deal. It’s something we get used to and forget about. However, when it comes to sex pet peeves, well, they can break a relationship down as much as infidelity can. They can be quite serious, so it’s best to talk them over as soon as you spot any of them.
It might seem like overacting, but sex is an intimate act. As such, no one wants to be bothered during intercourse. It can be quite a turn-off, drifting couples away from each other and resulting in splitting up. It slowly builds up, turns into passive aggression, and finally, it erupts like a volcano of bad words and eye rolls.
Why Do These Sexual Pet Peeves Matter?
The reason sex pet peeves matter is that they reflect certain boundaries. We all have our unique quirks and ways of going about intercourse, but that doesn’t mean that we can inflict them on others. Moreover, sex is best when it’s a product of equal say. For every action you want to make, you should be prepared for your partner to do the same.
If your partner is really sweaty during sex, bring it up. Tell them to get a towel and place it next to the bed. On the other hand, if they’re not keen on hygiene, well, explain that it’s a deal-breaker for you. No matter how sexy and good in bed they are, it won’t matter if they don’t clean up before and after intercourse.
What You Can Do About It
For any relationship to work, there should be a healthy dose of communication between the partners. Sharing and talking to each other are pillars of living together and being happy and successful. However, lots of us tend to forget this and close shop whenever it’s time to talk things through.
This is bad in many ways, especially when it comes to slight annoyances like sexual pet peeves. You should, therefore, be open with your partner about things that turn you off during intercourse. It’s the only way to successfully bridge the gap left by peeves between the two of you.
Of course, it’s vital to practice patience as well. No matter how eager someone is to change for you and you for them, it will take time. Some peeves are just parts of who we are and it might take longer to erase them than you’d expect. So, don’t be hasty. Be patient and allow each other to set the stage for change.