SUCCESS STORY #1: “FROM COMPLETE IDIOT TO HAVING REGULAR SEX WITH 3 WOMEN”
This email is from a 21 year old Mating Grounds listener from Detroit. Even though he’s short, has limited sexual experience, and lives in an awful city, he took what he learned from the podcast, made changes in his mating strategy, and is now having lots of success with women.
A little less than a year ago when you were just starting up Mating Grounds, I sent you an email asking for advice about my height. Your advice was to be honest about my height (5″4) and try online dating. I’ll talk here about how I progressed from sucking to where I am currently. In the beginning I didn’t take your advice, and kind of stayed in my rut.
Then in the past few months, I began listening to your podcast (Currently on Scott Britton’s interview. I listened to that three times. He was amazing) and gave Tinder a shot. Initially, I had a shitty profile with shitty pictures and got limited matches and realized I had to change my approach. This resulted in me taking better pictures of myself, such as including one with my dog, playing hockey, making my bio more attractive, and constantly updating it as I gained more experience. I provided details about myself and was honest about my height.
At this point I was getting more matches, and able to get dates with girls if I wanted to. I realized that the majority of guys were complete douchebags on Tinder, and all I had to do was be better than them and girls were very receptive to me. This entailed simple stuff by not asking them to sit on my face in the first message, and being a gentlemen. My first line was typically “Does hello work for you or do you require a cheesy pickup line?”. My response rate to that was about 80%, much higher than any other strategy.
While this approach got me dates, I was taking the wrong approach. I was trying to court these girls by taking them out to dinner and become their boyfriend. I was still extremely inexperienced at that point (still am) and figured that this approach wasn’t resulting in sex, and often I wouldn’t be interested in the girl, or vice versa and rarely ever got past a third date. I really wanted sex. I had no sexual experience other than 2 prostitutes I had paid out of desperation because I was getting suicidal about it. I’m not exactly proud of doing that, but It’s now behind me and I don’t regret it.
I modified my Tinder profile again, to cater towards a more Friend With Benefits situation, and developed another first message that I assumed would be more successful. I kept the stuff I had before such as my interests (hockey, school, food) and letting them know I was short. Everything else I took out and replaced with, “Not on here for one specific purpose exactly. I’m not against the idea of a long term relationship, and like any heterosexual young male with a busy life, I’m interested in safe, casual, short term relationships as well.”
I also developed my first message, “Is their any chance you’d be interested in a safe, casual, Friends With Benefits relationship? I’m extremely busy with school and work and don’t exactly have time to commit to a full time, long term relationship, but I’m not interested in slutty one night stands either.”
I have about 180 matches, and a lot of them I had not even talked to, so I sent that message out to about 40 girls. Some I had had brief conversations with in the past, others I had been matched with for a month and not talked to. Of those 40, about 20 responded. Maybe 10 of them said that they weren’t interested, but appreciated the way I asked it. I kindly thanked them for responding, and wished them the best. Of those 5 who said they weren’t interested made mention they would contact me in the future if their intentions changed. Of the 10 girls that expressed interest, 3 said they would think about it (all virgins that wanted to lose it). Another 3 said they were interested, then just stopped responding randomly during conversations. With the other 4 I am regularly having sex with 2 of them. Another is a virgin, and we are currently setting up plans, and the fourth is a 33 year old I have a coffee date with to discuss things.
With all 4 of these girls, I was completely honest with them about my limited experience and other aspects of conversation, and that worked wonders. The only thing I didn’t disclose was that my limited experience was prostitute quickies.
Just recently I also started messaging sexually to this girl I had just been talking with about random non-sexual things for about a month on Tinder. I proposed a threesome with my fuck buddy, and after a bit of convincing she agreed. This was only 2 days ago, and I wasn’t even sure if she was going to commit to the threesome. After talking to her in class today a bit and letting her know I probably failed a finance test I hadn’t studied for I was offered a cheer up blowjob from this girl that I hadn’t actually met in person. Of course I accepted, and within 2 minutes of meeting this girl in-person her lips were wrapped around my cock.
So that’s my lovely story. Complete idiot to having regular sex with 3+ beautiful women. Thanks for providing all this information for free and helping the world out, you could have potentially saved my life.
-21 Years Old in Metro Detroit.
Sexual Success Story #2: Hated My Husband’s Sex Drive
Let me tell you how drastically my marriage has changed over the past year. For years I had been longing for a change to occur in the intimate aspect of my marriage. I used to be so full of anger and resentment every time my husband and I were intimate. I wanted my husband’s sex drive to disappear! I thought I would be fine to never have sex again. I was never able to see sex an as expression of love. To me it was just a way of satisfying carnal lust. The whole male sex drive was a source of great anger to me.
Since you and your book have helped me so much I wanted you to know how wonderful things are now. I can’t say exactly what has helped me the most and I don’t know when the moment of change actually occurred. But it came, and it has lasted and has made a huge difference to me.
I finally feel like sex is the ultimate way for me to express my love to my husband AND for me to feel love from him. This is HUGE for me. I feel like I was given permission to enjoy and be grateful for my sexuality. I felt like it became O.K. for me to have sexual fantasies about my husband, and for me to be playfully suggestive with him. This was an incredible step for me to realize that this was O.K. and actually that the Lord would even be pleased with me.
Another thing for me was learning that enjoying intimacy was a choice and deciding to enjoy it was MY choice. My husband asked me not too long ago what happened… I told him that I had made the decision to make intimacy an important part of our marriage. This has empowered me. I have learned what married sex could and should be like. I have even learned to appreciate my husband’s sex drive and his masculinity.
Also, reading about teaching my children about sex made me change too. I realized that I wanted my daughters to love sex. How could I tell them it was wonderful if I didn’t believe that myself? Anyhow, things are great! I am so thankful for you and your book.
This new found intimacy does have its price though. I have had to work through feeling very vulnerable at times and my husband has had to reassure me that he won’t grow tired of me : ) Thank you for everything.
SUCCESS STORY #3: TRAVELING AND DATING AROUND THE WORLD
This Mating Grounds fan writes about how we helped him learn to push himself outside of his comfort zone. He traveled around the world and had great experiences with different women:
Tucker and Geoffrey,
If I could give both of you hugs, I would. Just want to give you a shout 9 months after I started following The Mating Grounds and let you know I’m eternally grateful for the value you’ve added to my life. Aside from getting me the most lovely girlfriend ever, a relationship which lasted much longer than previous ones, and learning to end it without burning bridges, your podcast and blog have been insanely useful while backpacking around the world.
It was impossible to grasp the cross-cultural rules that are engrained in women’s selection process until I started doing some real traveling. From Guatemala to Poland, I can apply what I’ve learned while still being a genuine dude, and it works! I now know which women I want, and bit-by-bit I eliminated most of the fear of meeting new girls through consistently pushing my comfort zone.
I can’t tell you how life-altering it is to look at a girl across the room and feel true, legitimate confidence that I can walk over to her and have a conversation. Two years ago in the same situation, this is what would happen: I’d be sweating profusely down my face, heart pounding out of my chest, scripting stupid stories and jokes to tell her, shitting my pants, and then I’d run away.
I met a British girl in Budapest at my hostel two weeks ago – we had a great night of dancing at the bars, and ended up flying to visit her for four days. Seriously guys, I couldn’t have done it without you – thank you.
I’ve been sharing the blog and podcast with every friend that will listen, and can’t wait to buy the book in a few weeks.